I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
