we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
only you would photoshop your dick
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Randomize
