Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
