I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
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