Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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