was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
