The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
