I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
