Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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