Screwed.edu
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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