His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
