i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
my sisters under your porch take her home
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
