I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize