Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
