so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
