Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
