it hurts more in the daytime
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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