My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i was born a porn star she said
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Randomize
