no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
