I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
