He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
