Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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