I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
