ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
This is the high leading the old right now
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Randomize
