yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize