Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
