you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
