sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Randomize
