Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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