Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
