im gay
i know
yea but for you.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
