R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Randomize
