Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
