he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
