You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
