This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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