You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
