This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
