I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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