I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
