We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
