Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
He felt like a one man threesome
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
