i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Randomize
