Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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