Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Randomize
