Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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