I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
