Ambien. No doubt about it.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
