You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize
