Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
