no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
