On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
he had hair everywhere except his balls
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
