All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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