I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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