i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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