I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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