Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
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