after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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